Showing posts with label Deception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deception. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Sunday Night With "Scott Binsack" Presents: True Love ~~ "The Man In The Moon"
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” ~Khalil Gibran
[But is that really true?]
[But is that really true?]
True Love: The Man in the Moon
It's the first show of 2015 and we're going to tackle a tough topic: true love and the story of the man on the moon.
Last February, right around Valentine's Day, we explored a story involving my mother and the man who would ultimately come to be known as the man in the moon.
It's a profoundly moving and emotional story that has impacted me since childhood.
I used to believe in the saying: If you love someone, you should set them free and if they truly love you, they'll return. I no longer believe this. I believe that if someone truly loves you, there will be no reason to set them free; they shouldn't come back after their first choice didn't work out, whatever the choice may be.
People tend to toss around the term 'love' as though it's a casual term. But it's anything but. Love is truly transformative and it's a force that can change your life in the most powerful ways.
I consider myself a hopeless romantic; I believe in true love. I've learned that many abuse victims like myself find themselves on a lifelong quest to find true love. They're often amongst the individuals with the biggest hearts and the deepest desire to love and be loved --- even if that desire isn't outwardly apparent through the hard, protective shell that many abuse victims develop.
When I first shared this story of the Man in the Moon, I didn't share all of the specifics.
I've since realized that it's a story that must be told --- in its entirety.
Over the past year, it's a story that's taken on new meaning as I myself became a Man in the Moon.
Recent events have transformed my view of life and love. I've come to realize that I was wrong; that love and intimacy aren't the only part of the equation.
There's more.
The Story of the Man in the Moon
My mother was a woman who suffered many traumas in her life. She was from a lower-middle class family that was plagued by dysfunction; a dysfunction that came to a head when she witnessed her father hang her mother from a 13th floor window amidst a drunken rage.
My father was from the other side of the tracks. He came from a prominent and wealthy family.
My parents met at a driver's ed class. My mother said she loved my father, but she wasn't madly in love with him. She got married because that's what was expected; getting married young was the norm.
My mother's true love was a man named Charlie --- a man whom I'd come to know as The Man in the Moon. Charlie ultimately married another woman, just as my mother had married another man. But their respective marriages were no obstacle and they would meet in secret. Sometimes, I'd wait in the car, parked on the side of the road. I was just three or four years old when I first witnessed my mother in a rare state of pure happiness as she shared intimate moments with this man.
Charlie's moniker --- The Man in the Moon --- was practical yet accurate. He was a man who was ever-present in her life and in her heart, yet in many ways, he was inaccessible. It was a practical term too, since my mother frequently brought me along when she met up with The Man in the Moon. So when my father asked, “What did you do today?”, my honest reply would be a seemingly fanciful: “We saw the Man in the Moon.”
After 14 years of marriage, my parents got divorced. But Charlie never left his wife --- a woman who happened to be one of my mother's best friends.
In time, Charlie and I became friends.
Years passed.
One day, my mother and I met Charlie for lunch. At one point in the meal, my mother left the table, heading for the restroom. I've always been very direct and I asked, “You love my mother. Why won't you leave your wife?”Charlie replied, “I have children, obligations.....But someday, we'll make it work. Someday.”
I knew that he truly loved my mother. And over the years, my mother continued to receive flowers, cards and other tokens of his affections.
They continued to see each other, but Charlie never did leave his wife. In this way, he truly lived up to his moniker, The Man in the Moon, remaining ever present yet inaccessible.
So my mother set out on a mission to find another man. She sought to replicate the intense bond that she shared with Charlie.
But true love was elusive. She re-married and divorced twice.
In the end, my mother was miserable, forever haunted by the forbidden love she shared with The Man in the Moon.
Years later, my father said, “I love your mom, but your mom was always in love with Charlie --- The Man in the Moon. He should have married her.”
The story of The Man in the Moon has led me to realize that love exists separately from intimacy. And if you don't have intimacy --- an incredible bond with another human being --- then you don't have anything.
These are just some of the topics we'll be exploring on the latest episode of Sunday Night With "Scott Binsack". It's a must-see episode; one that will force you to confront and reconsider your views of love, intimacy and true love.
Thank you for watching, liking and subscribing,
"Scott Binsack"
To view past shows and subscribe visit:
http://www.sundaynightwscottbinsack.com
Check out Scott's other sites:
Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com/
Blog: http://www.sundaynightwscottbinsack.com
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
About Me: http://www.scottbinsack.me/
More Info: http://www.yatedo.com/scottbinsack
Corp: http://www.scottbinsackmansionsandestatesinc.com/
Paper: http://www.thescottbinsackdaily.com
Follow “Scott Binsack” on:
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/scottjbinsacksr
Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/scottbinsackuser25636003
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realscottbinsack
Twitter: https://twitter.com/binsacksb
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Tumbler: http://scottbinsackthebuilderone.tumblr.com/
Audio: https://soundcloud.com/scott-binsack-sr
Sunday, November 23, 2014
DO YOU SEE LIFE THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES?? TONIGHT'S SHOW IS UP & LIVE!! WATCH IT NOW!!
Rose Colored Glasses ~~ “Why We Refuse Reality & Make Excuses”
If someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses, they think it… is more pleasant than it really is – “Scott Binsack”
It is much easier to see life through rose colored glasses then it is to face the real truth of any bad situation. The list is endless of what we can see wearing rose colored glasses e.g. relationships, marriage, career, self image etc. I am going to focus on all of these areas but more particularly, on staying in a bad relationship or marriage. Something I know well first hand!!
Reality: The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
I think we would all agree that it is much easier to see life or ourselves as we “want to see” it then what it “actually is” at times. Seeing it as it “really is” can be be very painful to ones existence. Painful or not, it should be the only way we see things. For, to see things via rose colored glasses is simply lying to ones self about the truth of any situation and/or themselves. Thus, what really was our life? A big farce!! A lie to ourselves!!
By accepting and facing reality we are able to change and therefore grow!! No one likes change. Change is painful, especially when it involves our own issues that we must change!!
Excuse: A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.
Through our lifestyle and just human instinct, we’ve become a culture of excuses. Excuses make life easier, especially when we know we will feed into to them and thus, we decide we would rather make an excuse instead of make a change. When we do something wrong we usually know it’s wrong and are already making up an excuse in our mind. We want to believe that everything is perfect and just right in our situations. As long as we don’t look bad or feel bad all is seemingly good. When in fact it is not! The problem is, when we make excuses for our situations, we .. “give up control” of those same situations. It is easy to “blame everyone else” and have that piece of mind that we are doing everything right. ( When we are not!! ) We just have to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.
Now comes into to play the bad relationship or marriage and the refusal of one partner or both to see this and thus, the false reality we create to stay. Henceforth, the excuses we use to tell ourselves and others for staying in a dysfunctional situation. Such as:
Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him or her than be alone.
If you are settling for an unhealthy relationship just to have a warm body near, you are missing the amazing indescribable intimacy that you deserve.
Excuse #2: I’m comfortable.
Is change something that makes you cringe? Are you stringing a relationship along primarily because it has benefits: money, companionship, image, physical intimacy, fun, familiar routine? Let’s face it, we have all temporarily turned to everything from shopping to food for fulfillment. Things–even relationships with benefits–can never truly satisfy.
Excuse #3: I love him or her.
“But I looooove him / her!” If I had a nickel for every time I heard those words! Geez! I love my dog! I love my brother! I love my pet hamster! There is a difference in loving and being “in love” and fully committed to the person you KNOW you were meant to be with. Never settle for less!!
Excuse #4: We have a children together.
Admit it. As children, most of us aspired to have better lives than those who raised us. Here’s the kicker: our starting point regarding relationships was the exact representation of what ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ modeled for each of us. My point: it is better to be alone or with the person you truly love then living a lie each day in front of your children. According to statistics, your children will do the same. You think you protecting them when in fact your not, your simply protecting yourself!! The choices YOU make affect future generations. Ponder that!
Excuse #5: I don’t want to hurt his/ her feelings.
Has your heart left the picture, but your still hanging around because you’d like him/ her to stay happy? Maybe you feel bad leaving him / her because they have invested so as spent so much time and money on you. You’re not stock or a possession; this isn’t an investment game. Have you tried to walk away, but they persuaded you to stay? You’re not a puppet; pull your hearts strings from their grip. Your people-pleasing nature, coupled with his / her controlling tendencies, are brewing up your worst nightmare. It’s time to be concerned more with yourself then them!!
Excuse #6: He / she is “good” enough for me.
Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve any better,” or perhaps you assume you’d never land among the stars so you’ve resolved to never shoot for the moon, or your insecurities and fears are holding you back.
Excuse #7: He or she will change for the better!
Come on, who are you kidding!? You can’t change him / her , and they comfortable the way they are. Statistically and in my experiences people don’t change. Not unless they truly want to!! Which takes being awakened by a fall to the bottom or some shocking act in their lives. Even then most don’t change. We are the ones that must change and see our own issues for what they truly are.
These are just some of the main excuses we make to stay trapped in a relationship or marriage we refuse to see for what it truly is. The list of excuses is endless.
So putting on the rose colored glasses everyday is the easiest way to just not face the truth. The easy way out!! When in reality it is living a lie to ourselves and those involved daily. Then before you know it real life and love has passed you by. You grow old and wake up one day wondering what the hell have i done with my life!
Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share two serious relationships in my life where in one I wore the rose colored glasses. Both serious events that changed me forever!! A show not to be missed!!
Thank you for watching and subscribing,
"Scott Binsack"
To view past shows and to subscribe:
http://www.sundaynightwscottbinsack.com
Check out “Scott Binsack’s” other sites:
Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com/
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
About Me: http://www.scottbinsack.me/
More Info: http://www.yatedo.com/scottbinsack
Audio: https://soundcloud.com/scott-binsack-sr
Corp: http://www.scottbinsackmansionsandestatesinc.com/
Follow “Scott Binsack” on:
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/”scott-binsack”/37/147/276/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realscottbinsack
Twitter: https://twitter.com/binsacksb
Instagram: http://instagram.com/scottjbinsack
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/scottjbinsack/
Tumbler: http://scottbinsackthebuilderone.tumblr.com
If someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses, they think it… is more pleasant than it really is – “Scott Binsack”
It is much easier to see life through rose colored glasses then it is to face the real truth of any bad situation. The list is endless of what we can see wearing rose colored glasses e.g. relationships, marriage, career, self image etc. I am going to focus on all of these areas but more particularly, on staying in a bad relationship or marriage. Something I know well first hand!!
Reality: The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
I think we would all agree that it is much easier to see life or ourselves as we “want to see” it then what it “actually is” at times. Seeing it as it “really is” can be be very painful to ones existence. Painful or not, it should be the only way we see things. For, to see things via rose colored glasses is simply lying to ones self about the truth of any situation and/or themselves. Thus, what really was our life? A big farce!! A lie to ourselves!!
By accepting and facing reality we are able to change and therefore grow!! No one likes change. Change is painful, especially when it involves our own issues that we must change!!
Excuse: A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.
Through our lifestyle and just human instinct, we’ve become a culture of excuses. Excuses make life easier, especially when we know we will feed into to them and thus, we decide we would rather make an excuse instead of make a change. When we do something wrong we usually know it’s wrong and are already making up an excuse in our mind. We want to believe that everything is perfect and just right in our situations. As long as we don’t look bad or feel bad all is seemingly good. When in fact it is not! The problem is, when we make excuses for our situations, we .. “give up control” of those same situations. It is easy to “blame everyone else” and have that piece of mind that we are doing everything right. ( When we are not!! ) We just have to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.
Now comes into to play the bad relationship or marriage and the refusal of one partner or both to see this and thus, the false reality we create to stay. Henceforth, the excuses we use to tell ourselves and others for staying in a dysfunctional situation. Such as:
Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him or her than be alone.
If you are settling for an unhealthy relationship just to have a warm body near, you are missing the amazing indescribable intimacy that you deserve.
Excuse #2: I’m comfortable.
Is change something that makes you cringe? Are you stringing a relationship along primarily because it has benefits: money, companionship, image, physical intimacy, fun, familiar routine? Let’s face it, we have all temporarily turned to everything from shopping to food for fulfillment. Things–even relationships with benefits–can never truly satisfy.
Excuse #3: I love him or her.
“But I looooove him / her!” If I had a nickel for every time I heard those words! Geez! I love my dog! I love my brother! I love my pet hamster! There is a difference in loving and being “in love” and fully committed to the person you KNOW you were meant to be with. Never settle for less!!
Excuse #4: We have a children together.
Admit it. As children, most of us aspired to have better lives than those who raised us. Here’s the kicker: our starting point regarding relationships was the exact representation of what ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ modeled for each of us. My point: it is better to be alone or with the person you truly love then living a lie each day in front of your children. According to statistics, your children will do the same. You think you protecting them when in fact your not, your simply protecting yourself!! The choices YOU make affect future generations. Ponder that!
Excuse #5: I don’t want to hurt his/ her feelings.
Has your heart left the picture, but your still hanging around because you’d like him/ her to stay happy? Maybe you feel bad leaving him / her because they have invested so as spent so much time and money on you. You’re not stock or a possession; this isn’t an investment game. Have you tried to walk away, but they persuaded you to stay? You’re not a puppet; pull your hearts strings from their grip. Your people-pleasing nature, coupled with his / her controlling tendencies, are brewing up your worst nightmare. It’s time to be concerned more with yourself then them!!
Excuse #6: He / she is “good” enough for me.
Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve any better,” or perhaps you assume you’d never land among the stars so you’ve resolved to never shoot for the moon, or your insecurities and fears are holding you back.
Excuse #7: He or she will change for the better!
Come on, who are you kidding!? You can’t change him / her , and they comfortable the way they are. Statistically and in my experiences people don’t change. Not unless they truly want to!! Which takes being awakened by a fall to the bottom or some shocking act in their lives. Even then most don’t change. We are the ones that must change and see our own issues for what they truly are.
These are just some of the main excuses we make to stay trapped in a relationship or marriage we refuse to see for what it truly is. The list of excuses is endless.
So putting on the rose colored glasses everyday is the easiest way to just not face the truth. The easy way out!! When in reality it is living a lie to ourselves and those involved daily. Then before you know it real life and love has passed you by. You grow old and wake up one day wondering what the hell have i done with my life!
Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share two serious relationships in my life where in one I wore the rose colored glasses. Both serious events that changed me forever!! A show not to be missed!!
Thank you for watching and subscribing,
"Scott Binsack"
To view past shows and to subscribe:
http://www.sundaynightwscottbinsack.com
Check out “Scott Binsack’s” other sites:
Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com/
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
About Me: http://www.scottbinsack.me/
More Info: http://www.yatedo.com/scottbinsack
Audio: https://soundcloud.com/scott-binsack-sr
Corp: http://www.scottbinsackmansionsandestatesinc.com/
Follow “Scott Binsack” on:
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/”scott-binsack”/37/147/276/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realscottbinsack
Twitter: https://twitter.com/binsacksb
Instagram: http://instagram.com/scottjbinsack
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/scottjbinsack/
Tumbler: http://scottbinsackthebuilderone.tumblr.com
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