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Rose Colored Glasses ~~ "Why We Refuse Reality & Make Excuses"

If someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses they think it is more pleasant than it really is - "Scott Binsack"

It is much easier to see life through rose colored glasses then it is to face the real truth of any bad situation. The list is endless of what we can see wearing rose colored glasses e.g. relationships, marriage, career, self image etc. I am going to focus on all of these areas but more particularly, on staying in a bad relationship or marriage. Something I know well first hand!! 

Reality: The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

I think we would all agree that it is much easier to see life or ourselves as we "want to see" it then what it "actually is" at times. Seeing it as it "really is" can be be very painful to ones existence. Painful or not, it should be the only way we see things. For, to see things via rose colored glasses is simply lying to ones self about the truth of any situation and/or themselves. Thus, what really was our life? A big farce!! A lie to ourselves!! 

By accepting and facing reality we are able to change and therefore grow!! No one likes change. Change is painful, especially when it involves our own issues that we must change!! 

Excuse: A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

Through our lifestyle and just human instinct, we've become a culture of excuses. Excuses make life easier, especially when we know we will feed into to them and thus, we decide we would rather make an excuse instead of make a change. When we do something wrong we usually know it’s wrong and are already making up an excuse in our mind. We want to believe that everything is perfect and just right in our situations. As long as we don't look bad or feel bad all is seemingly good. When in fact it is not! The problem is, when we make excuses for our situations, we .. "give up control" of those same situations. It is easy to "blame everyone else" and have that piece of mind that we are doing everything right. ( When we are not!! ) We just have to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.

Now comes into to play the bad relationship or marriage and the refusal of one partner or both to see this and thus, the false reality we create to stay. Henceforth, the excuses we use to tell ourselves and others for staying in a dysfunctional situation. Such as:

Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him or her than be alone. 

If you are settling for an unhealthy relationship just to have a warm body near, you are missing the amazing indescribable intimacy that you deserve.

Excuse #2: I’m comfortable. 

Is change something that makes you cringe? Are you stringing a relationship along primarily because it has benefits: money, companionship, image, physical intimacy, fun, familiar routine? Let’s face it, we have all temporarily turned to everything from shopping to food for fulfillment. Things--even relationships with benefits--can never truly satisfy. 

Excuse #3: I love him or her.

"But I looooove him / her!" If I had a nickel for every time I heard those words! Geez! I love my dog! I love my brother! I love my pet hamster! There is a difference in loving and being “in love” and fully committed to the person you KNOW you were meant to be with. Never settle for less!!

Excuse #4: We have a children together.

Admit it. As children, most of us aspired to have better lives than those who raised us. Here’s the kicker: our starting point regarding relationships was the exact representation of what ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ modeled for each of us. My point: it is better to be alone or with the person you truly love then living a lie each day in front of your children. According to statistics, your children will do the same. You think you protecting them when in fact your not, your simply protecting yourself!! The choices YOU make affect future generations. Ponder that! 

Excuse #5: I don’t want to hurt his/ her feelings.

Has your heart left the picture, but your still hanging around because you’d like him/ her to stay happy? Maybe you feel bad leaving him / her because they have invested so as spent so much time and money on you. You’re not stock or a possession; this isn't an investment game. Have you tried to walk away, but they persuaded you to stay? You’re not a puppet; pull your hearts strings from their grip. Your people-pleasing nature, coupled with his / her controlling tendencies, are brewing up your worst nightmare. It’s time to be concerned more with yourself then them!! 

Excuse #6: He / she is “good” enough for me.

Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve any better,” or perhaps you assume you’d never land among the stars so you've resolved to never shoot for the moon, or your insecurities and fears are holding you back. 

Excuse #7: He or she will change for the better!

Come on, who are you kidding!? You can’t change him / her , and they comfortable the way they are. Statistically and in my experiences people don't change. Not unless they truly want to!! Which takes being awakened by a fall to the bottom or some shocking act in their lives. Even then most don't change. We are the ones that must change and see our own issues for what they truly are. 

These are just some of the main excuses we make to stay trapped in a relationship or marriage we refuse to see for what it truly is. The list of excuses is endless.

So putting on the rose colored glasses everyday is the easiest way to just not face the truth. The easy way out!! When in reality it is living a lie to ourselves and those involved daily. Then before you know it real life and love has passed you by. You grow old and wake up one day wondering what the hell have i done with my life! 

Join me "Scott Binsack" as I share two serious relationships in my life where in one i wore the rose colored glasses and the other were the person involved wore theirs. Both serious stories that changed me forever!! A show not to be missed!!

Thank you for watching,

"Scott Binsack"

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Strap Yourself In For This Shocking Show On Sunday Night With "Scott Binsack" THE BLACK SHEEP ~~ "GROWING UP DYSFUNCTIONAL"

 

“Another persons dysfunction should never become your reality” – Scott Binsack

Dealing with a family of severe dysfunction is never an easy task, especially when they inflicted traumatizing and shocking emotional, physical and sexual abuse and still live in denial about it today!! I am a proud survivor of an extremely dysfunctional family, dysfunctional all the way around on my fathers side of the family. Despite the chaos that they inflicted upon me and my urgent removal from the same at the tender age of 15 they still attempt to haunt me today. I have learned to face these issues and deal with the chaos that they still at times try rain down on my life. Even to the point of trying desperately to destroy me through others. Despite my having nothing to do with them.

This dysfunction through my own issues started to show its ugly head early on in my life with relationships and then marriage. Thinking that running away at 15 and never looking back would solve the problem. When in fact it merely brought it to light in all that I did. I grew up pulling (emotional) knives out of my back, and being physically and sexually abused be several family members repeatedly, and in turn doing everything I could to be accepted and loved.

I was always shocked at how much other people loved and protected their kids. While my family was busy living in denial of each other and wreaking havoc to hurt one another. So extreme at times I wanted to simply die as a child. I was always trying to please them and get them to love me,. All to no avail!! I was always the black sheep as it has been said and even today told to me as .. your family hates you!! I’m glad they hate me. They don’t deserve to have me in their lives. Me, I have forgiven them and learned to turn that pain at a very young age into strength.

A dysfunctional family is defined as one in which there is either sexual and/or physical abuse, neglect or both going on. The adults may not get along and might expose their children to terrible arguments or even physical fights and/or allow other family members to abuse the child. Conversely, the parents might be allies who care for and protect each-other at the expense of their children. In a dysfunctional family, the parents are inadequate or abusive. As a result, there is not enough love available for the children. Sometimes there’s no love at all. This sets up an unconscious competition between the children for whatever love might be available. During childhood, one child might ingratiate themselves to one or both parents in an attempt to get some attention from them. They are simply doing their best to survive in an environment deficient of the emotional necessities of life. The legacy of the dysfunctional family is not just the emotional trauma caused by parental abuse or neglect but also and significantly, a toxic disruption of the normal loving bonds that siblings would otherwise share. For more on this see, http://marciasirotamd.com/trauma-reco…

Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share some very shocking and traumatic details of my childhood and how I learned to overcome the sever scars of this dysfunction. Giving you ways to cope with and overcome dealing with a dysfunctional family. A show not to be missed!!

To view Scott's past shows:
http://www.sundaynightwscottbinsack.com



 Thank you for watching, liking and subscribing,
“Scott Binsack”

Check out Scott’s other sites:
Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com/
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
About Me: http://www.scottbinsack.me/
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Audio: https://soundcloud.com/scott-binsack-sr

The Long Road Home ~~ "Surviving Child Abuse As An Adult"

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” - Rumi

In this Sunday's compelling show "Scott Binsack" reveals his most intimate survival skills. Growing up within a severely dysfunctional home and enduring horrific abuse at the hands of others, Scott could have easily drown in the depths of pain and humiliation that accompany such atrocities. Not only did he find his way to "find the light within the wounds" and survive, but also to thrive against the odds, becoming whole and extremely successful along the way.

When we have been abused or neglected as children it can leave us feeling wounded, deprived, and wronged by those we love and trusted. The hurt can be especially deep if those who caused pain were our own family members. If these hurts are not resolved, they continue to affect us and our subsequent relationships.

Memories of these events are painful, so we tend to avoid thinking about them too deeply. Or if we do think about them, we focus on certain parts at the expense of others, precluding a complete picture of the events. Thus we have an incomplete and child-like view of the harms experienced, and any mental “solution” to the problem is likewise incomplete and without the benefit of being properly vetted by our mature higher mind. The child mind wants to rewrite the story and change the ending, however, doing so at this late stage will not change the past nor will it remove the pain experienced nor will it fix the psychological and spiritual damage.

Childhood pain can last a lifetime if not confronted. Confronting the totality of our painful experiences is the only way to gain mastery over the past. It allows us to objectively revisit what happened so that we can reassess it from a more mature and objective vantage point. It allows us to gain a more complete picture of the events and come to more appropriate conclusions about the cause and meaning of what happened. This understanding allows us move past the futile urge to reenact these experiences and allows us to recreate an internal understanding of who we really are in a more functional and accurate way.

Join "Scott Binsack" as he shares with you how to face these inner demons, how to forgive, and how he rose from the ashes of a childhood lost to recreate himself, becoming whole and healed. Finally finding himself!

Thank you for watching, liking and sharing weekly,
"Scott Binsack"

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